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“What I Wish I Knew”

June 14, 2010


Ever looked back at an event in your life and thought, “I wish I knew then”? It’s a common feeling that takes life experience to reach, but in the case of brides — many of whom are brides for the first time — where can the experience come from? Women who have been through it before!  Here is a list of things married women know now that they wish they’d known for their wedding:

Hire a Wedding Planner!

Not only does a wedding planner have the experience to answer questions you might have (and ask the questions you might not think of- see below), she can also take a good amount of stress off your shoulders.  Sometimes, she can handle mishaps and you won’t even know anything had gone wrong.  An added bonus? You can also save money and look at options for vendors you may not have considered and known about.

The proper way to hold your bouquet is below the waist. (

Speaking of questions for wedding planners, there is an often overlooked detail many brides wish they knew — How to hold the bouquet.  Even in weddings shown on TV and film, the bride is often holding the bouquet wrong — but your wedding planner knows the correct way! You should hold it just below your waist.  This prevents obscuring your face in photos as well.

Don’t Worry About The Choice You Didn’t Make!

From picking the colors of the napkin rings to trying to match them to the rest of the decorations, some brides cause themselves too much grief.  Pick something you like and, as one bride put it, “close the menu”.  Don’t continue to look at other options, as you might panic if you find something you think might have been better.  Be proud of your choice.  No one at the wedding is going to be worried about  how well things match, and in the words of another bride,

“You aren’t going to notice (anything) on your wedding day. I’m not even kidding. You won’t notice if the flowers are dark red, and not bright red; if a candle isn’t lit; if the placecards aren’t just right; if your BM has the “wrong” shade of shoe on. I totally promise this. I had to ask my mom SO many things afterwards like “did they put this out? were the frames set up?”

Accept Help From — and Trust — Professionals and Family!

The wedding party — and your vendors —  want and expect to help you — so let them! Don’t try to take everything on yourself.  Focus on getting married!

Make Sure the Wedding Party Knows How to Get To the Wedding!

Brides who have had to wait for a member of the wedding party who’s lost know how stressful it can be.  To avoid this, plan a dry-run to the church the day before.  Give everyone detailed directions and a map if possible, as well as someone to call if lost.  You could also consider hiring a limo service!

Don’t Expect Perfection!

Don’t expect perfection, and don’t take things too seriously.  In the words of another bride,

“Accept that your vision will not be perfectly matched by the reality. Enjoy the picture you have in your mind of what your wedding and reception will look like….and then the day before your wedding, DELETE THAT PICTURE FROM YOUR BRAIN. Prepare to look at the *big* picture, the overall effect. You know all the details and if you focus on specifics you will miss the big picture.”

No matter how carefully you plan, things can still go wrong; the important thing is to handle mishaps gracefully.  Laugh at things; one day they’ll be a funny story to tell.

Focus on the marriage -- not just the wedding! (source:

Don’t Lose Sight of the Reason for the Ceremony!

Remember to be patient and kind to your fiance! You may bicker about the planning, and that’s to be expected — but keep it to a minimum and spend time together doing activities not related to the wedding.  Keep in mind that no matter what happens during the ceremony and reception, at the end of the day, you’ll be married to the one you love.

Enjoy yourself!

sources: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. lovelaughterelegance permalink
    June 25, 2010 1:51 pm

    Karin, you have really hit the nail on the head! As a fellow planner, I also often find myself solving last minute issues and providing fogotten items to bridal parties, like breath mints and hair pins. Each event is unique, and so are the people involved. But if we didn’t enjoy what we do, we wouldn’t be here! Thanks for sharing!


  1. “What I Wish I Knew” (via Cinderella for a day) « Cinderella for a day

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